This is my favorite book. Well, one of them, anyway. Certainly in the top ten.


  1. First thing in the morning, have a misunderstanding with a best friend.
  2. I spend a few hours in ignorant bliss of what was to come.
  3. In my bliss, I decide to start on the major housecleaning we need to do and I go clean out my closet. In my defense, I figured it’d take about thirty minutes.
  4. Two and a half hours later, I’m as done as I’ll be for that day.
  5. I realize it’s now six p.m. and fencing starts at seven. I’ve yet to eat dinner and assemble the weapon I fixed.
  6. I assemble said weapon. Said weapon refuses to work. In diagnosing the problem, I end up having to dis-assemble it entirely. The problem was a bad socket.
  7. New socket grabbed from bin. Weapon re-assembled. I go to tighten the nut that holds the grip in place.
  8. Nut spins.
  9. Mind you, this is the same blade whose tang had to be re-threaded by me the day before, and that re-threading ended up with my screwdriver deciding to stab me in the left thumb.
  10. I try another nut. Same thing. Tang is stripped again.
  11. Re-rethread tang. Tang still stripped. Realize that I’ve A)at some point during the re-rethreading process, I’ve cut my right thumb and that B) we’re now nearly forty-five minutes late for fencing.
  12. Patch up my thumb. Put on my knickers (you brits stop giggling). Go to zip them up and realize I’ve stepped through one of the suspenders. Have to take ’em off and put ’em back on again.
  13. On the way out the door, fencing back gets caught on the latch and I’m momentarily stuck, tethered to the door.
  14. After escaping from the clutches of the door, we go to fencing, now an hour late.
  15. At fencing, it’s discovered that it’s wacky weapons week and everyone is fencing saber. Everyone. I’m Not Allowed to Fence Saber, Ever. Like the kid who’s punished for recess, I watch all the other kids play.
  16. Finally, nathan says he’ll fence me in epee. We end up getting into an argument. We go home.
  17. Now home, I attack the stripped foil tang problem once again, determined to win. As I’m re-re-rethreading the tang, the die-holder snaps in half.
  18. Let me repeat that. The die-holder, made of metal, snapped in half.
  19. Snapped in half.
  20. I then make discovery that I’ve somehow unknowingly injured myself and scraped the skin off the top of my left index finger.
  21. At that point, I called it a night.

I’d move to Australia, except they’ve got Huge Spiders.