27 Mar 2007 06:26 pm

I’m addicted to these. So’s Nathan. There’s your warning.


  • 1 cup self-rising flour
  • 1/2 cup oatmeal
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 2 Tbsp vegetable oil
  • 1 egg
  • 1 Tbsp packed brown sugar
  • 3/4 cup skim milk
  • chocolate chips


  1. Heat large pan over medium-high heat on oven range. Spray with non-stick spray. Basically, do whatever you normally do to make normal pancakes.
  2. Beat egg in small bowl with whisk.
  3. Add the brown sugar. Beat again until sugar is dissolved and mixture is light brown-ish.
  4. Add the vanilla extract and the oil. Beat some more!
  5. Add the milk. Beat beat beat!
  6. Whisk in the flour. Aaaaand… beat.
  7. Whisk in the oatmeal. Mix it up.
  8. Pour the mixture into a liquid measuring cup of some sort.
  9. Make sure the pan/griddle/whatever you’re using is ready by tossing some little water droplets on it. If they skitter around, it’s ready.
  10. Pour some of the batter onto it, however big you want your pancake to be.
  11. Sprinkle however many chocolate chips you want on it.
  12. When some little bubbles break on the top of the pancake, flip it over.
  13. When the pancake rises enough that it’s all puffed out on the top, flip it over again.
  14. After… um… thirty seconds or so, it should be ready. You can check it out by cutting a bit into the middle and making sure it’s not batter anymore.
  15. Wait about a minute until you start eating the pancake. Not sure why, but it tastes better that way (and has an added bonus of not burning your mouth!).
25 Oct 2005 07:38 pm

I saw a recipe in Cook’s Illustrated for Beer Can Grilled Chicken. The basic premise of this recipe was shoving an opened beer can into the rear end of a chicken and cooking it. I decided it was the weirded cooking method I’d heard about since being told to marinate steak tips in a mixture of Coke, ketchup, and italian dressing (or maybe the Best Chili Ever that uses coffee, cocoa, and beer). I’m sensing a trend here with the beer.

So obviously, I had to try it.

However, I don’t have a grill. I went rooting around using my Google-fu and found this recipe which suited my needs for figuring out how long and at what temp at which to roast said chicken. Anyrate, I purchased a 4 something pound chicken, a six pack of Bud, and today went about making Beer Can Chicken.

Stuff you need:

  • garlic powder
  • black pepper
  • kosher salt
  • bit of sage
  • bit of thyme
  • 4-5 lb. whole chicken
  • 1 can of beer
  • roasting pan or casserole dish
  • church key can opener or a sharp knife and a hardy soul

Here’s what I did:

1. Preheat the oven for 375 degrees F.

2. Realize that the chicken wasn’t entirely thawed, swore, and finished thawing it in the microwave.

3. Remove giblets from now-thawed whole chicken, cut off any neck that’s left and that weird tail-ish thing on the other end.

4. Rinse the chicken off, inside and out.

5. Shake off excess water. Pat if dry if you feel so inclined.

6. Mix spices in a bowl if you want. Use copious amounts of garlic powder and black pepper, mid-range amount of the salt, and a bit of thyme and sage (I guess to make it look pretty or something, but I figured a rub had to have more in it than just garlic powder, salt, and pepper). I could even name this the Taylor rub, ’cause I got it from my dad. See, as a kid, I always wondered what the hell he used to spice his steaks and chicken, and one day I finally asked him. He motioned me to the cupboard and he pulls out this bag with a white substance in it. (No, not cocaine. Jeez). He says, “This is my secret ingredient.” I ask what it is. He says, “Kosher salt.” I inform him that that was the crappiest secret ever. Anyway, pre-mix the rub, better more than less, because if you run out and have to make more, you’ve got goopy chicken crappy hands.

7. Rub spices inside and outside of the chicken. Separate the skin from the flesh (use your fingers, a knife stands a chance of cutting the skin and you don’t want that) and rub more rub in there. Rub rub rub.

8. Using the church key can opener (or the sharp knife. In case you’re wondering, I used a sharp knife. I have a hardy soul dammit! …and plenty of scars), open the beer can, either taking the whole top off or punching a crapload of holes in it. I ended up popping it open the normal way, then stabbing with the knife and peeling about three-quarters of the top off. Sprinkle a bit of the rub inside.

9. Dump out or drink about an inch of beer from the can.

10. Stand the beer can in the pan or dish you’ve got, shove the rubbed chicken onto the can, using those little chicken legs to tripod it up.

11. Roast the whole thing for an hour and forty-five minutes (your mileage may vary, I’ve got a gas oven).

12. Oh yeah, and be a raw chicken kitchen patrol cop. Wash your hands all the time. Disinfect all surfaces when you’re done, too. You don’t want food poisoning from chicken.

There you go, beer can chicken. Stuff is damn good, it’s the kind of chicken where you’ve got to pick a bit off and eat some every time you walk by the carcass.


09 Oct 2005 01:28 pm

You’ll need:
*note, all my measurements are approximate except for what involves the rice. Basically, I rarely measure, except when absolutely needed, like in the case of rice.

boneless skinless chicken breast (at least two)
1 vidalia onion
1 cup flour
1 tsp salt
2 tsp black pepper
1 tbsp garlic powder
1 tsp ginger
1 tbsp extra light olive oil
1 tbsp toasted sesame oil
Sharwood’s General Gau’s Sauce (hard to find, you may substitute, but I can’t guarantee it’ll taste anywhere near the same)
1 cup milk
1 cup jasmine rice
1.5 cups water

The how-to:

1. Get the rice ready to cook. In a medium sized saucepan, add the 1 cup of rice and 1.5 cups water. Have the pot’s lid ready. Or, cook a bunch of white rice however you like, I don’t care. But you do need decent white rice.

2. Grab a large frying pan, put it on the stove on medium high. Add the olive oil and toasted sesame oil.

3. Dice the onion and add it to the pan.

4. Cube up chicken. Well, not cube. Just cut it up to bite-size pieces.

5. Pour milk into pie pan (or largish bowl or whatever will hold it).

6. Mix together flour, pepper, salt, ginger, garlic powder in another pie pan (or a largish plate. Again, I don’t care. Just get it mixed.) Also, this is where the seasoning measurement isn’t highly important. I don’t measure here, I just pour. Garlic powder is the biggest compenent (aside from the flour), followed by black pepper, salt, and ginger (not a ton of ginger).

7. Dredge the chicken bits in the flour. Shake off excess flour. Put once dredged chicken bits in milk, make sure it gets all wet and sticky (I’m telling you, it’s one of the grossest feelings EVER on your fingers). Take it out of the milk, shake off excess milk, dredge it in the flour mixture again, making sure to coat it and then shake off excess flour. The rule for coating meat is Dry Wet Dry. Remember that. It’s one of those things that’ll come in handy, like righty-tighty, lefty-loosy.

8. Add now twice dredged and coated chicken bits to the onions. Don’t stir it yet.

9. Turn the burner under the rice onto high. Get that stuff boiling. Once it hits boil, cover and simmer (on LOW) for 20 minutes.

10. NOW stir the chicken bits and onions mixture. Keep cooking for the 20 minutes the rice is simmering for. If you’re cooking rice your own way, then figure it out however you please. But this is how I do it. Oh yeah, and stir the chickenbitsnonion occasionally so it doesn’t burn. The onions will carmelize, which is nice. Vidalia onions give it a bit sweeter taste than other types of onions. (I also hate raw onions. Hate. Just so you know.)

11. So now 20 minutes have gone by. Turn the burner under the rice off. Don’t take off the cover, now it’s going to steam for 10 minutes. If you aren’t cooking rice this way, you’re on your own. After 5 more minutes, add the general gau’s sauce to the mix in the frying pan. Add however much you want, you know, that whole “season to taste” thing. Whatever. Cook for 5 more minutes.

12. Rice should be done. Fluff that stuff up. Chicken should be done. Put rice on plate, put chicken on plate and there you have it.

FOR SWEET AND SOUR CHICKEN: Instead of the Sharwood General Gau’s Sauce, use La Choy Sweet and Sour Sauce.

05 Oct 2005 09:53 am

1. Make fajitas. *
2. Realize both jars of salsa in the fridge have gone bad.* *
3. Frantically search cupboards for a mystery you-know-you-had-another-jar-of-salsa salsa.
4. Find Del Monte Petite Cut Diced Tomatoes with Zesty Chili Peppers.
5. Open can, drain, dump Petite Cut Diced Tomatoes with Zesty Chili Peppers into bowl.
6. Pour in some garlic powder, cilantro, and black pepper.
7. Mix.
8. Find a friend to taste test.
9. And you have Accidental Salsa.

I did this last night. It actually didn’t turn out badly at all. I’m sure it could’ve used some fresh ingredients, but it worked in a pinch and was fairly decent.

*this step optional
**this step semi-optional. no idea why you’d want accidental salsa when you’ve got perfectly good salsa in your fridge. weirdo.