Best Game Review Ever…and Other Games
This made me laugh.
And laugh again.
And giggle.
And then laugh some more.
“Big Rigs is a game so astoundingly bad that it manages to transcend nearly every boundary put forth by some of gaming’s absolute worst of the worst and easily makes it into that dubiously extraordinary category of being one of the most atrocious games ever published.”
“Please do not play this game. We cannot stress this enough.”
…
I’m also playing Fable. Have I mentioned how cool this game is? No, I haven’t, because it’s been sucking away the the hour’s worth of attention span I have for random things. I’ve played the game for a total of a couple of hours. I’m TRYING to be good, I’m TRYING.
But I think my character got sick of being called a chicken-chaser. Hell, I got sick of being called a chicken-chaser. Really, what the hell is that supposed to mean? There’s shitloads of chickens all over the game, am I supposed to be chasing them? They just sort of wander into your path. You can punch them and then they sorta of thump and wander off. I bought a new title…but damned if I can remember what the hell it is, but it suren’t isn’t chicken-chaser.
I also suck at being good in this game. I offered to take a trader through the Great Woods. No problem, right? Well, this unfortunate soul got in the way. His aura went from green to red (meaning good to bad) and I attacked him. And killed him. And then a random guard appeared and I attacked HIM and dammit, they get awfullypissed off and attack the SHIT out of you.
Failed that quest.
Then I accepted one to take a couple traders through the Darkwoods.
Dum dum DUM! Darkwoods. First off, these traders won’t SHUT UP. It’s like having an idiot from the McDonald’s Chicken Selects commercials along with the morons singing the Pepto Bismol song making continual comments of your progress through a deep and dark wood.
I killed them. I couldn’t take it.
If only real life were that easy when it comes to obnoxious people.
September 29th, 2004 at 1:37 am
>>>Considering the fact that you can drive over these tall, seemingly insurmountable mountains (at least, insurmountable for an actual diesel-powered truck), and there are no level boundaries, eventually you can just drive off into literal nothingness and can hang out there as long as you please.>>Dum dum DUM! Darkwoods. First off, these traders won’t SHUT UP. It’s like having an idiot from the McDonald’s Chicken Selects commercials along with the morons singing the Pepto Bismol song making continual comments of your progress through a deep and dark wood.
I killed them. I couldn’t take it.<<<
*dead AGAIN*
I am liking that I can now read your blog from my LiveJournal friends page, because it means I see new posts within hours rather than days. w00t! Except this commenting system sucks because it won’t let us use HTML. And the preview strips out carriage returns. Hopefully the actual posting of the comment will leave them in.
September 29th, 2004 at 8:54 am
we must have different definitions of a couple of hours since you’re significantly further in the plot than i am after a couple of hours.
*arseface*