December 2006

31 Dec 2006 11:43 am

I finished reading Stephen King’s Cell yesterday. It had the makeup of something I would fantastically love—an apocalyptic zombie novel. Not only were there apocalyptic zombies, but the zombies are made by cell phones.

I fell instantly in love. Zombies! Apocalypse! Evil cell phones! (Even now, I’m very apprehensive about answer my cell phone. Not that I wasn’t apprehensive before, but now it’s gotten even worse. My friends now hate Stephen King).

I read. And I read and read and read, the book was really a page-turner (the sort of book that can wrangle my ADHD attention span for long lengths of time). It developed well, it was eerie, suspenseful. For me, it also had an added element of familiarity with the setting. That made it even more creepy (the creepiest moment for me in a King novel was when he once wrote something about going to the theatre in Conway, NH. Holy shit, I’ve been there!)

And so I loved it… all the way up until yesterday around 11:53 a.m.

You see, that’s when I got to the end. Only, it didn’t seem like the end. It seemed like a chapter end, yes. The kind of end where you say to yourself, “Self, let us continue on to the next chapter.”

And then you (and Self) notice that there’s his traditional tagline-ish endnote. You know the one (if you ever read any of his novels, which I do recommend) where he gives the date and place of where and when he finished the novel.

I felt lied to. “You are not done! I will turn the page and there will be another chapter!”

And there was another chapter… for another book. One of those previews of books to come.

But I will never know what happened with Clay and his son Johnny and their compatriots left in the northern unnamed counties of Maine. This makes me sad because I figured Cell to be a multi-time read. I’ve got several of novels that I’ve read multiple times—Ender’s Game, The Stand, An Unquiet Mind… the list honestly goes on and on. But Cell won’t be on that list because it’s promise is broken at the end. The story doesn’t finish. It ends in practically mid-sentence, as if your lover was shot in the middle of saying “I lo—”

31 Dec 2006 11:26 am

Nathan looks over from his computer toward Marissa and me and says, “I killed myself.” He then takes a bite of his pizza.
I reply, “You seem to be doing rather well for being dead.”

—Nathan, while playing Call of Duty 2

“No! No! I’ve already been to hell twice today, I don’t want to go again!”

—Nathan, while playing Oblivion

28 Dec 2006 12:18 pm

“I’m going to church two times in one night and neither of them are for Jesus.”

—Marissa talking about the two christmas eve masses she would be attending

A conversation between Marissa and Nathan:

Marissa: “Are you guys celebrating Christmas this year?”
Nathan: “Yes, but not in the traditional way, sitting around the Christmas tree and shit.”
Marissa: “So how will you celebrate Christmas the non-shit way?”
Nathan: “I’ll get some eggnog and share it with my wife—”
Marissa, interrupting. “Who is lactose intolerant.”
Nathan, ignoring interruption. “And I will sing* Christmas songs and Jamie will tell me to shut up.”

*singing is not the term I would use for what happens when nathan attempts to sing. he is a good guitarist, yes, but he can’t sing.

28 Dec 2006 12:11 pm

The following happened recently (okay, today) in this thread at sakeriver.

So I set up an out-of-context thread. Originally, I titled it “sakeriver OoC thread” forgetting that in gaming, it’s an abbreviation out of character, as well as in fanfic.

I changed the title to the full version and posted a comment about it. Other comments soon followed.

mackillian: Oh, for the love of pete.

rivka: I actually liked the ambiguity. (And his name is Nathan, hon, not Pete.)

mackillian: It is?! Oh NOES!!!*

TheTick: Maybe she was talking about his…never mind

It gave me an idea. I will start calling nathan Pete and see how long it takes him to get it, or how long it takes it to drive him crazy, whichever comes first.

*the oh noes is from a book I’m currently reading (Cell by Stephen King, which I shall post about once I’m finished).

27 Dec 2006 01:19 pm

The following is the first post in this thread on Hatrack started by dantesparadigm

I recently had an epiphany. In the midst of the rigors of AP us history, I realized that the one repeating feature of the great men in history is that they are all gloriously bewhiskered. The Civil War being the prime example, men rose through the ranks based on the relative magnificence of their cookie dusters, Stonewall Jackson, Lee, and Longstreet all had preeminent soup strainers, and the Union tried unsuccessfully to imitate their tactics with McClellan, Meade, and Burnside, eventually leading to their finding a suitable leader in Ulysses S. Grant and his beard, Doctor Fuzzenstein. The magnificent facial hair of the time led to the bloody war of attrition, neither side had the ferrat-tude to win through to full victory.

The great victors of the twentieth century also had their nose neighbors. Hitler and Stalin subverted massive populations and conquered vast tracts of land thanks to their mustaches of authority. Fidel Castro, Mr. Tickles, and his small guerilla army of 300 men managed to defeat clean shaven Batista’s 10,000 troops and seize control of Cuba. How? The answer lies in the beard.

This leads to an obvious conclusion about the lack of success in Iraq. How can we hope to succeed when tens of thousands of our clean-shaven men at arms are being hurled into the midst of the most bewhiskered population on Earth? How can General Abazaid Compete with Osama Bin-Laden

We need to send the United States government a message, this war cannot be won through strength of arms alone, we need to draft ZZ Top, and put them in command of our fighting men and women, or else we’re surely doomed.

Some final evidence.

Genghis Khan? Beard

Satan? Beard

Gandalf? Beard

Think about it.

— dantesparadigm

Go here to read the rest of the thread and reply with the funny.

Brilliance, I tell you. Brilliance!

22 Dec 2006 01:51 pm

here’s an ADHD sketch for the holidays…


(click it and it gets bigger. so you can, you know, read it.)

Next Page »