June 2004

24 Jun 2004 07:19 pm

The only answer I get is to rebel.

And I can’t.

And it makes me cry.

13 Jun 2004 03:24 am

It’s way too late for me to be up. I fell asleep for a little while, then woke up with my mind churning. Nothing bad. Everything good, I think (except I will be dead girl walking at church this morning). I’ve struggled with finding the right path and stories to tell with Awaken the Sleeping Gods since I graduated from St. A’s. I’ve struggled with writing in general–it’s like it was trapped, locking away, something I KNEW was there and desperately needed to let out, but I couldn’t find the damn key.

I think it’s been found. I dunno if it has anything with me following the path God would like me to, or at least my own attempts to try and obey his will. When I’d graduated, I stopped going to church. Felt empty, all that rot. I just gave up and figured it wouldn’t be there and wrestled with the trials of Real Life. But my writing dried up. No, not dried up. It locked itself away. Perhaps it’s a god given talent. Who knows. But thanks, my man, I’ve got it back.

Anyrate, I woke up with the whole story of ATSG in my head. All of the threads woven together, the allusions I’d wanted to use and how they’d apply, the development of Molly and Ella and Luke and Rachel and how it would work out, how it would climax and resolve and have a good story.

It’s a good story.

I want to write it all down right now, but that won’t happen. But it’s all knocked out, all the chapters and how they’ll flow and what will happen next. All that’s left is to bring these guys to life and tell their stories as they would have them told instead of outlined in light, cramped pencil hashmarks on one of my spiral notebooks.

With all this time to spare, I think it’ll get written fairly quickly. That, and there won’t be any of this pause and “what will happen next to fill out this story so it will be long enough?” Believe it or not, I actually struggle with brevity–I have too much of it. Concise fiction. *mutter* But it’s all there, all planned out. I know it’s long enough, I wonder how long the story will be. But it’ll be a good one.

It’s nice to have it back.


Nathan will be here in TWO DAYS.



10 Jun 2004 01:42 am


…and somehow, I got a bugbite.

Mofoing hot today. Am actually starting to get cracking on this short story. Might bring me back into the swing of writing significant amounts again. We’ll see.

09 Jun 2004 02:14 am


08 Jun 2004 08:03 pm

Okay…said nail, and the one next to it, STILL aren’t ready to come out.

Argh, it’s like having loose teeth. And I have to keep paper tape on both of them to make sure I don’t wrench them loose. *sigh*

On happy news…


08 Jun 2004 07:52 pm

Am currently trying to pry off this gross dead toenail.

Just thought I’d share.