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…oh look, a butterfly! » 2003 » May

May 2003


31 May 2003 12:08 am

Work. Work caught up with me!

Busy week has drawn to a close. Returning to work went well, my clients don’t seem any worse for wear, and the powers that be (at work) are pleased that I’m back.

And STABLE, I’ll be damned. Two good “normal” days so far. Let’s see if this keeps up. The difference between the moods is very stark, but not recognizable until you’re out of them. It’s hard to explain just how it feels to constantly think about dying, to become completely reckless with your life and body and physical well being, to just give up. To be irritable and angry and pissed off at everything and everyone, or break down in tears. To be full of boundless energy and want to withdraw at the same time.

Mixed episodes suck. At times, I wish I could have a happy manic episode.

Spoken like a true bipolar.

26 May 2003 02:38 am

Story

The first, I believe. This idea for this one eventually got turned into my novel Monster Rules. Even the climax of this became the climax of a chapter/section of the book. This story is me playing with telling a story in general, learning POV, dialogue, everything to see how it all works and the reactions and emotions it causes in the reader.

26 May 2003 02:30 am

This one has some neat elements to it. There’s the obvious connection to standing on the brink of insanity and stepping over the edge. Moon, lunar, craziness. Very obvious. The protagonist, William, is very close to that edge. He’s pushed there by his tyrant of a father and unsupportive and completely favored twin brother. William, through his thoughts and actions, drops small hints of his own instability as the story progresses and at the end, he finally loses his grip on reality.

Sorta neat. Definately me the author living through someone else and losing my own grip on reality. ‘Cause I really can’t. At the same time, there’s a certain amount of freedom to it.

Least till you get caught.


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26 May 2003 02:25 am

This one has the religious elements that are apparent in my earlier short stories. Not much of it is really tied to the author, but more to the kid’s reaction to death, and how it seems to be increasing in his life, compressed into a short period of time. He doesn’t know how to react to it. It’s got a deus ex machina sort of ending. It isn’t very clear.


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26 May 2003 02:19 am

First attempt at more “serious” literature. Even had a quotation at the beginning. Not much deeper than that, at least in the driving force. The rest of it can be tied to my being raised half in the South, and the tension between my own Roman Catholicism and the bible-thumpers amongst my friends.


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26 May 2003 02:12 am

I wrote this short story a couple few years ago while on an airplane flying down to Georgia. Apparently I wrote it in a fit of the crap happening with my family. It was just after Christmas and my parents refused to talk to me and me to them and had spent the Christmas holiday with my Resident Director’s family. They were great and nice, but I was damn aware that I wasn’t with MY family, and couldn’t be with them. Ironically, I was also on my way to visit Evan. Not Brack. So this had to be January of 2000. Diagnosing the mind of the protagonist could be a bit like diagnosing the mind of my developing mental illness.


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